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Beth's blog

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1:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2008

as i was just sitting here, i got to thinking.  "i wonder how many of the ladies here are able to openly discuss their hair loss with family and friends?"  i got to thinking about this because just last evening i was talking to a really good friend of mine.  i feel we have shared practically everything with each other.  when one of us is going thru a tough time, the other one knows. but recently we have started to drift apart only talking to each other every couple of weeks, whereas before we talked every single day.  so as I was on the phone with my friend, and she was asking what i have been up to, i found myself unable to share about my hair loss.  It's still relatively early in the hair loss horror for me, and i'm able to f ix my hair and "hide" any thin spots.  I know the spots are there, but so far, it doesn't seem to be noticeable to anyone else.  i've only talked to my mom and hubby about my hair, along with the few doctors that i went to.  everyone else i have shut out about this, as I feel telling anyone else at this point, is only going to make them focus on my hair.  and I sure don't want that!!!!  so, how open is everyone here about their hair problems?

 


Comments (5)
Beth - 5:48 PM on Mar. 29, 2008  [ message ]
Well I finally did it. And I can't tell you how MUCH better I feel that i broke down and told my best friend. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was avoiding her phone calls, and making excuses for not wanting to talk. Once I started telling her, i just told her everything. The awful visits to different doctors, not getting anyone to take me seriously because I still have hair on my head. and the scariness of the whole thing seeing all the hair in my hands every day when I washed my hair. I told her how I had stopped going to get my hair done at the salon (when normally I would go every 4 weeks), and I told her how bad my hair now looked, not only from the shedding, but because I wasn't getting my roots touched up and the gray was really showing!!!! She told me to go to her salon, where the hair dresser was really nice and understanding. It was the best thing I had done in months was get my hair done at the new salon where she referred me. I felt like I was walking on cloud when I left the salon. Because it was the FIRST time anyone had valiadated to me (besides my husband), that they could tell I have been having significant shedding. She said, "although I have never seen your hair before, I know you must be losing a lot of hair, and I'll tell you why. you have a ton of regrowth all over your head, and you would not have that if you weren't losing that much hair. So although you must be losing a lot of hair, you are getting lots of regrowth, which is really good." I felt so validated when she said that. Like, "wow, someone finally believes me that my hair is coming out." Since that salon visit, I have been much calmer with myself. I still do not why the hair is coming out, but it is slowing down a little. I'm just trying to eat healthy, take vitamins, and take it one day at a time. So telling my best friend and getting off my chest really really helped me.
mominny - 10:50 AM on Mar. 5, 2008  [ message ]
Hi Beth,
It is something that is really hard to talk about...especially for woman. When I first found out my mom was mortified, she felt bad, sad and she felt it was her fault. She wants me to cover it all up and act like it isn't happening. I on th other hand wand to be an advocate for it! I also felt like I had a dirty little secret at the beginning...I was afraid to tell anyone, I did not want them to think I was sick or it was contagious...it was really hard. It has taken a long time to get to the point I am at now, which is I want to tell everyone. And I want everyone to know it is ok, I am not sick, it is not "catchy", I am healthy, I am just like everyone else (minus a few hairs). My hubby is fine with it. I work at a school and I do tell people who I work with a great deal...just so they don't look at me and think "what is up with her hair." I also don't want the pity stare from people or the "oh, I am so sorry." Why, why should they be sorry...I am healthy...I am not dying of anything...it is hair! It is tough....that is what everyone is here for though..to talk and for support. Not sure if this helped at all. :)
Dottie - 6:00 PM on Feb. 9, 2008  [ message ]
Hey Beth,
Until recently I only discussed it with my mother (who also suffers with hair loss), my husband, one or two close friends, and any physician who would listen.

This website has really helped me start to open up more about it. I have the added bonus of being a nurse... which means that I work with other nurses! I had never spoken to any of my friends at work about what I was going through, but have started discussing it with a trusted few over the last week as I read and research. Not talking about it is kind of silly when I think about it. Why wouldn't I talk about something that is incredibly obvious to everyone around me? It's like ignoring the big, pink elephant in the room. The women I work with are generally warm, nurturing, caring and wonderful people. They take care of female patients with a variety of conditions everyday. Why wouldn't I want their support?

Talking about it with some of them this last week has actually made me feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. If I can be open about this problem, then I don't have to try so hard to hide it. Putting so much effort into hiding this really expends a huge amount of energy!
Dottie
womenshairlossproject - 5:09 PM on Feb. 9, 2008  [ message ]
Hi Beth,

I'm not very open about it at all. I've told all of my immediate family when it first started 8 years ago but really haven't spoken about it since. I know they can see the dramatic thinning. My mom talks about her hair loss and asks me how it is going from time to time, but not too often either. As far as friends, only one knows and i told her 5 years ago and haven't spoken about it since. Now talking about it with my fiance is a totally different story. I am very open about it with him, I'm so grateful for being able to have someone in my life who really understands how it affects me and tries to help anyway he can. I think it very normal for women to not feel comfortable sharing this and bringing attention to their hair.

~Y
shanlaree - 2:08 PM on Feb. 9, 2008  [ message ]
Beth,

It took me awhile to tell a few people but when I did I felt soooo much better. As for my sister she knew the second I felt like a hair left my head. It old my dad and step mom after I had the biopsy and I was told I have AA (female pattern hairloss).My dad was very warm and encouraging and supportive and so is my hubby. ;o) But for those of us that are just not ready to tell our friends or close ones then this site is a great place to vent, release and get renewed with info and advice.

have a great weekend!

Shanlaree