Rogaine, Nizoral, BCP

I get crippling depression. I feel ugly and worthless. I'm scared that I will never be in a long term relationship. I don't cry very much anymore, sometimes I just feel numb.

Yesterday was one of those days.... (stated above) when I felt rock-bottom awful. That's when I finally decided to sign up on this network! I have been reading posts on here for months, and I already feel better now that I have officially joined.

Sometimes I just thrive on denial about the whole thing, but then I look at pictures of a few years ago, or a few years ago before that... and before that... Sometimes it just hurts so sharply. I used to love to wear my hair up, down, braided, half-up, etc. change it up daily, but its gotten to the point where it looks too awkward down. It's harder and harder for me to cover up my scalp.

I'm thinking of purchasing some toppik or something..

Anyway, today I feel much better. I'm not alone and all you women are so brave I feel silly to feel like I'm the victim. You are all an inspiration to me!! There is more to life than what you look like!! Hopefully we can help influence society and the evil standards it holds us to. I want to punch the world in the face and say, "Hey! Beauty is not restricted to the hair on your head." It's somewhat absurd, when you think about it. All of our collective pain, our tears could fill an ocean, and for what??

I am an optimistic person who has been through some shit in life (haven't we all?). Although sometimes dealing with my ever declining head of hair seems to fill me with despair, TODAY I refuse to let it bring me down. It had yesterday, but TODAY I will not let it change me in any sort of negative fashion.

Word.

I work in Fashion. My passion is art and making art. I love being around interesting people and being silly. I try to not think about my hair and how it is holding me back.

I finally started telling some of my friends my secret (this burden I have been carrying for years). I told my brother, and my two best friends. Although I knew they would always be there for me, it was still amazing and relieving to hear their concerns and that they will always love me. I am so blessed to have incredible people in my life!

Joining this network was so good for me. You lovely ladies gave me the reminder I needed that there is so much more in life than what is on top of your head!!

I love listening to music (my taste is crazy eclectic so I'm not going to elaborate) and painting. I am a food lover and a vegetarian. I love concocting new vegetarian sauces, dips, and especially curries! I am still adjusting from moving from the Arizona desert to New York, but this city is its own magical being! I'm hoping it has tons more to offer me.

I love animals, starting dance parties, burritos, astrology, walking across the Williamsburg bridge, checking out the random free stuff on craigslist, and other good stuff.