saw palmetto shampoo and conditioner, amino acid supps, multi mineral and vitamin supps, healthy diet, hair laser, MSM

salayulo oil, paba gel, crap scalp treatments that cost over $700, rose water, saw palmetto supplements, laser, tricomin, minoxidil, nizoral, nioxin, scalp massage, force eating tuna(I"m veggie), Indian Herbal oils, etc, etc.

It has made me feel unworthy of love, that being probably the worst of them all. I never feel pretty unless I'm wearing a hair piece and even then, just knowing what's underneath it depletes my self esteem. I feel like I'm a sickly person because of my appearance. The list goes on and on. But, on the other hand, I appreciate and admire the beautiful, thick hair that other people are blessed with. I've learned that I'm not invinscible, but also that hair (in terms of appearance), is purely cosmetic. Like painting your nails or wearing lipstick..I also wear hair. It can be devestating on a daily basis, but if I keep in mind this simple idea, I'm able to accept it a lot easier.

I've lived in Los Angeles my whole life. I live with my wonderful boyfriend of 6 years, my 4 dogs, and 2 cats. I design decorative tile and have a small business called Mantra Tile.
I never noticed my hair falling out. One day I looked in the mirror under a bright light and saw right through to my scalp. That's when the downward spiral began. I was 23. I went through all the stages of shock, desperation, depression, bitterness, anger, sadness, etc. I've tried everything with no success, just a deeper whole in my pocket. So now I wear hair pieces. And for the moment, accepting it, and dealing with it, instead of fighting it. I'm "better", but still always somehow, incomplete.