So I haven't been on here in months.  I think when I left I was "hopeful"  ... I was trying to get on with it (life) already, not let the hair loss stop me from living.  I'm a jerk though. I was hiding.  I wasn't hopeful, I was in DENIAL!!!!!!!!!!!   My latest breakdown (crying , a little bit of screaming in the shower this morning) is evidence of it.

I took my class to learn to ride a motorcycle, guess what Ladies..... I thought this was going to make me feel freedom from this issue that has consumed me.  Oh no no no!  Think about it, HELMETS!!!!!!!  Nuff said. 

Oh yeah, and I joined a gym, great idea right!?!  I mean, if I can't control my hair, I can control my body.  I have a personal trainer who asked me why I always wear a baseball cap....  so now I am working out, constantly wondering if people notice that I am the only woman with a damn hat on.  and every so often I try to workout without the cap on..... oh my god, why am I so consumed.  why won't it just stop falling out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went to a new butthead doctor, finally decided that I just want to go back on BC, Yasmin, maybe this is going to help, heck maybe it will just make all my hair fall out FINALLY , just get it over with...., this slow process is agonizing!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So two doctors with an attitude telling me that BC is not the reason. THEN WHY IS MY HAIR FALLING OUT THEN!!?!?!??!?!?  They all say, go on rogaine, but that isn't going to solve it.  What is wrong with me that my hair keeps falling out.  Why won't it stop falling out!!!!!?!?!? 

I guess I am going to buy rogaine, I can't keep waiting for something to change, I feel like I have lost so much time just feeling like I have been in denial that this will stop on its own.  I don't have hardly enough hair to cover the sides any more.  I don't have enough hair to be held properly by my stupid hair clips.  the clips fall loose.  when my hair is wet, well nevermind , the only thing it's good for, if I dressed up as a skeleton bride (today for halloween) , you know she has a few long strands covering that white scalp...  yup

This sucks.

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies.... I did it! I cut off over 3 inches, added BANGS !!! and long layers.... I may still be off of the natural high you get when you cut your hair and it feels so great, I can't believe I waited a year and a half without a hair cut, what was I thinking ?!?!?(I know what I was thinking, that I wanted to hang onto whatever I had left!!!!)

After the cut, it does look more full but I have to send out some shout outs: 

Y, Yes I agree, after waiting as many days as I possibly could between washings I think I took it harder when so much came out, but when you wash it on a regular basis it  IS something I can more easily manage in my own emotional world.... 

Lisa Yes I agree, now that it is shorter I am not noticing as much when the hairs fall out, I didn't realize how long my hair was until the lady had me stand up so she could comb through it after she put a moisturizing cream in it.  But I noticed right away that with the strands shorter that again I can manage it better in my emotional world.

And Misty, where did you find this place, did you just go on the internet and see if you could find someplace to send me a link?  You are so cute!  I would absolutely recommend this woman, her name is Shirley and the site http://www.inspiredhairstudio.com/ourstaff.html  they are in Winston-Salem, NC....  I have so much to say about this woman!

She is a saleswoman in the sense that she offers the Therapro Mediceuicals line... she beileves in it and did "sell" me on it. However, she asked if I wanted to pass on the sales pitch... I wanted to hear about it though.  I knew nothing about these products and searched this site and found no one using it!  well, I checked out their website www.therapromedi.com/  and it is NOT very extensive/informational.  and of course I bought this stuff , of course!!!!  I am hopeful!  Shirley had some great "testimonies"  I just felt good about it really. The shampoo and conditional smell good in the bottle (haven't used it yet) but the spray is a "bioactive follicle stimulator"  you know what the heck!  It's not like rogaine, whatever you gain you will lose if you stop....  I figured I might as well give it a shot. I put on the spray last night and it tingles for about 15 minutes and then stops.  Anyone who has tried this stuff let me know.  But I will keep you gals posted on my progress. 

She is a damn Yankee too (I am from Maine, but she is from NJ!! )  she has been down here for 13 years....  she is part owner in this salon , it is small and at first I was worried, I won't lie!  I told her a lot about my situation, how I feel about getting it cut, I asked her to be careful because I warned her I might cry!  She was a nice combination of Empathy/Good Sense/....

At first I thought she was crazy!  She is a bundle of energy. 

Have you ever had an experience, the hair dresser got behind and her next clients are waiting so she starts hurrying while doing your hair.... This woman spent an hour and 45 minutes with me, and she was patient and wanted to make sure my cut was done the way I wanted.  she had TWO clients backed up and apologized to them but she didn't want me to leave until I was satisfied. 

Hi, anyone in NC, SC or VA  can offer me some advice on who I can go see to cut my hair (since I travel for my job I am willing to set up for a time I am in the area)  I haven't had anyone touch my hair since this start, it is long but I think it is working against my goal of having it at least look like it's full and happy hair!  so if there are any "sensitive" hair dressers you can recommend I would apreciate it,  Not only is it a "sensitive issue" for me but infact every hair on my head hurts, so pulling and that sort of thing realy gets to me. 

any help would be appreciated, thank you ladies.

Julie

Okay,  I cancelled the apt with Dr Elise Olsen @ Duke; that was going to cost me an arm and a leg (I felt Like I was only going to be getting a Meet/greet with more costly appts to come)

The reason I am writing to you all today, II want to try and make a decision one way or another, should I go back on BC (I am 90% sure that is what caused this to happen to me) My biggest question though If I go back on BC will my shedding get worse?  ... I am willing to go back on it and be on it forever I don't care, I can only think about now and 5 years from now (I know this sounds silly) 

But i need to hear from some women who thought BC was the cause, maybe you waited over a year, shedding all the time, scalp coming through (but shedding is all over, I think I have more in the back than in the front now though) ...and then you went back on BC and the shedding slowed or stopped?  And I want to hear from the women who went back on it and it got worse, I Know I am asking a lot, since I joined I have been trying to keep a list in my mind of what all of your situations are... I am amazed how many of us have similarities but there are also so many differetn variables, of course we all know this because we can't seem to get any definitive answers about ANYTHING!.   I so greatly appreciate your help.

By the way, I did not "cancel" my appt,  I postponed it to the next avail date (SEPT29!!!!, sheesh) and I am on the waiting list for any openings that come up. But one of the biggest reasons (after the point that I dont' think it'sgoing to help only hurt my pocket book) is that a lot of you ladies have  had very extensive blood work done with speciific things you were looking at, I wonder also if I can get some help creating a list I am going to take to a regular doctor and tell them what I want done (I have been to countless doc and let them just take blood and siad "it's okay" ) this time I want to have a comprehensive visit... a list of things I need them to check and then I am going to keep that list and recheck it again in so many months.  (I think this will help me feel better when I do go see Dr Olsen becuase I will give her more to review.)

Okay, I really am asking a lot, hopefully I can return the favors!  Thank you so much for your support,

Julie

I think have to cancel my appointment....  This isn't a good financial time.... some things have come to a head and I am realizing with my appt less than a week away, I have to cancel it/postpone it.  It is not part of my insurance network so it is going to be a hefty expenditure.....  this sucks.  really sucks.  I don't even think it would help .... as many doctors as I have seen I just feel like it would be mroe of the same but instead of a 10 dollar copay I would be paying helfty out of pocket.....  there are no 'for sure' answers/solutions that I can just do it and know that I might get answers...

I hate my hair , I hate what it has done to my social life.... I hate what it has done to my confidence.  I hate this. I never imagined anything like this.  By the way, want to say it in a post rather than just in my own mind. I definitly drink more. A lot more. Just thought of it tonight how much more I drink, like I am trying to desensitize myself........ 

Just one more time... This SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11