"I'm tired of fighting, fighting for a lost cause." -- Beck

I'm at a crossroads and you guys are truly the only people who understand. I'm sick and tired of feeling bad about myself. I'm sick and tired of  checking my hair from every angle before I leave the house. I"m sick and tired of giving this such power over my life. I'm obsessed. I know that. I'm allowing this to rule my life. It impacts everything I do, every decision I make. Frankly, I'm starting to feel pathetic and weak.

I know I'm pushing people away. I'm tired of them tellling me "It will get better."

My best friend told me yesterday that he's worried about my mental health. (Dude, I'm in freaking therapy. What else do you want me to do??) My father told me today that I need to stop dragging this on and make a decision about how to proceed. Funny, I just thought I was aggressively looking for answers. I'm starting to realize that there might not be answers for me. I'm weepy and I'm bitchy. Is that me or is it the cocktail of drugs in my system? I'm concerned that the synthroid that was supposed to regulate my thryoid is really messing with my emotions. Is it in my mind or is my hair fall worse than ever? (Or am I just thinking that because I know synthroid can cause hair loss?)

I admire those of you who have struggled with this and have such great attitudes.

I'm at a crossroads: Do I continue to fight and expend energy or say enough is enough and make my peace with getting a hair system or wig? Either way, I need to make a decision and move forward.

I want my life back. I'm going to try to reclaim it. I just have to figure out how.... :)

You guys rock!!

Lisa